Tyler Colvin – 2011 Gypsy Queen

June 4, 2011

“I’ve Heard Of Sophomore Slumps, But This Is Redonkulous”

First off, I just saw a Molina get caught stealing on a strike-’em-out, throw-’em-out in extra innings against the Cubs. Yes, it was a risky play by LaRussa, but the rook batting (Matt “Not Chris” Carpenter) should know that you don’t take a borderline pitch with two strikes in extra innings AND A MOLINA IS IN MOTION FROM FIRST TO SECOND! It’s one thing to strike out swinging on that play, but LOOKING? Bush league, son, bush league.

Now onto Tyler Colvin. I knew he was struggling, and I knew he was demoted and then recently recalled when Alfonso Soriano was injured (no, it wasn’t a pulled ego, or a dislocated wallet). These things happen to players in extended slumps when they still have options left. Julio Borbon was recently sent down, as was Michael Saunders. Nate McLouth was exiled to Gwinnett last year.

But until this game I had no idea of the depth of Colvin’s slump. Today, as of this writing he was 0-5, which means he’s 7-73 on the season. That’s an .096 batting average. Entering this game, he had an OPS+ of 13, whilst last year his OPS+ was 111.

Now, there’s no reason to think he’s THAT bad. His minor league record was pretty good. Of course, his season ended with that hideous accident where a he was impaled by a bat. But that was a freak accident – and people are rarely impaled anymore since Vlad retired from the Carpathian League. (Vlad had a stormy record as part of the Wallachia Wyverns, but he was never intimidated…)

But no matter how his career winds up, this season will be an ugly stain on his bubble gum card. Sure, there’s a chance he can go on a tear, but even if he does, what will his batting average look like.

Well, let’s find out.

Even if he gets hot, he’s probably only going to get about 200 more at bats at most after Soriano returns, thanks to Fukudome, Pena, Soriano, Byrd and Reed Johnson hanging around. The reality is a lot less, but for Tyler’s benefit I’ll go with the higher number.

If in those 200 at bats he hits about what he did last year (.254) – that’s 51 for 200 (.255, close enough).

He’d be 58-273 on the season, or .212.

If he hit .300 in those 200 at bats (60 for 200), he’d be hitting .245.

If he hit .350 in those 200 at bats (70 for 200) he’d wind up at .282.

So all is not lost, Tyler. All is not lost. Just get on a hot streak.

POSTSCRIPT – Albert Pujols just belted a slider from Jeff “Hail Hail To Notre Dame, Maybe I Should Be Pitching For South Bend” Samardzija to the bullpen for a Cards win, and just in time for me to switch to the hockey game. Thus the resurrection of Tyler Colvin’s batting average will have to start tomorrow.




2 Responses to “Tyler Colvin – 2011 Gypsy Queen”

  1. Kerry Biggs Says:

    I figured at least Colvin would be no worse than Dwight Smith or Jerome Walton, but alas…

  2. […] 3. He’s still having a much better season than Tyler Colvin. […]

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