Carl Nichols - 1988 Donruss

“What? Sent Down? AGAIN??”

I have put my time in! This team was 10 kinds of lousy and awful and I sat in Rochester all year while Kennedy played every day. First, Honey Bear Rayford was the backup, but he ate the entire buffet at Golden Corral the other day. Then Van Gorder was the backup. DAVE MF VAN GORDER!!

Now I make it to the bigs in 1988, and we’re even WORSE! But the last two games I started, we MF’n won! We’re 4-25 and I caught two of the MF’n wins! Shit…what’s a brother to do to? They send me down for this Fruit Loop eating MFer, Tettleton. Last year he couldn’t hit for crap, and Oakland sent him to Modesto this season. I’m losing my job to a dude that started in the California Leauge this year? I know I’m not hitting, but who IS on this jive-ass team?

Kennedy’s hitting .194. Send his ass down! Billy Boy F-Face Ripken’s hitting .165. Ken Gerhart’s hitting .125 and batting FIFTH! Tito’s hitting .136. Schu’s hitting .200. Next Mike Schmidt my ass. Even Sheetsy’s hitting .210 and Murray’s at .218. And I’M SENT DOWN? For Fruit Loops?

Shit…